One Month Ago

Our trip to Ust seems surreal or like a dream. One month ago today we arrived in Ust so full of hopes and dreams. We were finally going to see Galina again and meet Tanya. We expected "bumps" in the road but I don't think we ever believed that they would not want to come home with us. It has been an interesting 3 weeks since we arrived home. The first week we were both pretty numb. The second week many emotions started surfacing and have continued to surface. We have been blessed to have many people to talk to and to help us process our journey. The day after we arrived home our son Nichol returned from a summer job out west. He is our child that infuses energy into our home and he loved on us and did his job. God's timing?? The second week our son Gabe and his family came to visit from Orlando. Gabe could only stay 2 days because of work obligations but Christina and Cash stayed for a week which was much needed grandparent time. Christina allowed me to "takeover" Cash for the week. For all of you who know me babies are my thing! I can't think of anything that would help me heal better than cuddling with my grandson. God's time?? Lacey has been around since we arrived home from the airport. She is such a huge support and truly not only my daughter but best friend. She is an amazing young lady that also is grieving the loss of her sisters. We are still trying to figure out what we are suppose to do with all we have gained in the past 5 years with our adoption journey. There have been many blessings along the way. We have made wonderful friendships. We know in our head that what has happened was all part of God's plan and we are trying to embrace that knowledge in our hearts. It's been hard. It's been confusing. We've been discouraged. We have grown. We've learned so much. It's been soooo worth it!!