The End of Our Kazakhtan Adoption Journey

When we left Kazakhstan we left with questions in our minds and hearts whether there was a child/children that we were suppose to meet. We received information this past week about one specific child that we had met and others that our agency requested that we consider. After much thought and prayer we have made a final decision that our adoption journey to Kazakhstan is done. We still believe that it was a journey that God called us on. It didn't end as we had anticipated but we are better people for having stepped out and traveled along this road. The people we have met and experiences that we have had have been life changing. We will continue to support and pray for the children's lives in Kazakhstan that we are blessed to be a part of. We look forward to the day that God reveals to us the "whole" picture.

One Month Ago

Our trip to Ust seems surreal or like a dream. One month ago today we arrived in Ust so full of hopes and dreams. We were finally going to see Galina again and meet Tanya. We expected "bumps" in the road but I don't think we ever believed that they would not want to come home with us. It has been an interesting 3 weeks since we arrived home. The first week we were both pretty numb. The second week many emotions started surfacing and have continued to surface. We have been blessed to have many people to talk to and to help us process our journey. The day after we arrived home our son Nichol returned from a summer job out west. He is our child that infuses energy into our home and he loved on us and did his job. God's timing?? The second week our son Gabe and his family came to visit from Orlando. Gabe could only stay 2 days because of work obligations but Christina and Cash stayed for a week which was much needed grandparent time. Christina allowed me to "takeover" Cash for the week. For all of you who know me babies are my thing! I can't think of anything that would help me heal better than cuddling with my grandson. God's time?? Lacey has been around since we arrived home from the airport. She is such a huge support and truly not only my daughter but best friend. She is an amazing young lady that also is grieving the loss of her sisters. We are still trying to figure out what we are suppose to do with all we have gained in the past 5 years with our adoption journey. There have been many blessings along the way. We have made wonderful friendships. We know in our head that what has happened was all part of God's plan and we are trying to embrace that knowledge in our hearts. It's been hard. It's been confusing. We've been discouraged. We have grown. We've learned so much. It's been soooo worth it!!

We've Arrived Home

After over 30 hours of travel we arrived home safe and sound. It was an incredible week that has stretch us and tested our faith beyond anything we could have imagined. We remain confidant in the knowledge that we have had an experience that is only a small part of a huge picture that we may never understand. Yes, we are hurting and praying for Galina and Tanya. We know that our lives will continue and be blessed but as we turn these two children over to our God we wonder what their lives will be like in the future. Mark has prayed this entire journey that if this journey that we were on wasn't going to bless our family then he wanted God to stop it. It has been stoppped with both of us knowing that it was God's plan. Our oldest son Gabe told me he thinks that maybe God allowed us to go and spend time with the girls so that I would be allowed closure. I know in my heart that it was necessary for me to see Galina and hear her declare that she didn't want to be a part of our family for me to believe the truth. We have been so blessed by so many of you who have walked with us and at times held us up. We have established life long friendships through our adoption journey. We had the opportunity to meet and hold our Kazakhstan granddaughter, Simbat, and spend time with her mother Madina between our flights home. It's time to put this journey behind us and move forward and hold fast to the knowledge that we have gained.

We Are Coming Home

We want to thank you all for your support and prayers. We did as many of you suggested today and what Mark and I also felt was something that we needed to do to make sure that we were fulfilling God's plan for our family. We talked to our in country coordinator and agreed to meet other children that were available for adoption. We met 4 children ages 4-7. We knew as soon as we met each child that they were not meant to be ours. We did meet a 7 year old boy on the playground that we both felt could be our son. We inquired about him and late this afternoon we were told that he has 3 siblings and it would be complicated to adopt him. We have prayed and prayed and prayed about our situation and we feel we have done everything that we could/should do in this journey. We are so blessed to have so many family and friends that have been so supportive both here (Ault's and Howell's) and back home. Our kids have been amazing!!! We have purchased our tickets home and will be arriving in Chicago late Sunday afternoon. We will be spending tomorrow with Madina(our exchange student daughter from 2001) and her new daughter in Almaty. It's time to close this chapter in our lives and move on to being Cash's Grandpa and Grandma!

Very Sad News

It is very difficult to write this and we don't even know what to say. We were called to go to the orphanage early today for our bonding time. When we arrived our in country coordinator was there with 2 social workers. They had been talking to Galina for over an hour. Galina has refused to become part of our family. We did have the opportunity to talk to Galina and Tanya. Galina was very definite in her decision. She wouldn't even make eye contact with us. Tanya said that if Galina wasn't going she was afraid to go and seemed relieved. Our hearts are broken and we are wondering God's plan in all of this. Please pray for our family.

Hello Out There

OK, if anyone's reading our blog we would sure like to know. We check it every morning for comments. Only 1 comment today. Have we already been forgotten? Please let us know that you've been here!!!

Eating Out

Mark and I went to the bazaar this afternoon and went to a small restaurant off of the meat market. The people in the restaurant couldn't speak English and the menu was in Russian so the man brought out different things that he thought we would like. We had a bowl of noodles with broth, meat?, green peppers and onions. It was very tasty. The one thing we knew that we ate was palmani. The other families that are here are going to wait and see if we get sick to see if it's a place they should eat. LOL!